TRENTON (The Borowitz Report)—All
lanes of traffic on the George Washington Bridge were blocked this
afternoon by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s ego, traffic reports
said. Aerial images of the bridge showed traffic snarling for miles as Mr.
Christie’s massive self-regard shut down all lanes on the upper and
lower roadways.
Tracy Klugian, a frustrated motorist attempting to head back to his home
in Montclair, New Jersey, echoed the feelings of many drivers whose
passage was blocked by the gargantuan ego: “First the polar vortex, and
now this.” A spokesman for the New York City Department of
Transportation advised motorists to avoid the Governor’s ego by using
the Lincoln and Holland tunnels “before Chris Christie remembers they’re
there.” But the spokesman hinted that Mr. Christie’s towering ego might be
yet another traffic inconvenience, like potholes and road construction,
that area drivers should get used to: “It’s not getting smaller any time
soon.”
Photograph by Tom Mihalek/Reuters
No comments:
Post a Comment