NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In
a blockbuster documentary to be broadcast tonight, the Fox News Channel
alleges that Obamacare is “little more than a thinly veiled scheme to
force Americans to live longer.” The documentary, called “The Ugly
Truth About Obamacare,” claims that President Obama “is cynically using
the health-care law to achieve his true objective: raising the life
expectancy of Americans without their consent.” “In America, how long you live has always been
your own business,” says the documentary’s narrator, Sean Hannity.
“Under Obamacare, though, it’s the government’s business—a government
that wants you to live as long as humanly possible.” The documentary lays out a nightmare scenario of Americans being saddled with sky-high life expectancies for years to come. In perhaps the most chilling prediction of the documentary, Mr.
Hannity warns, “If Obamacare goes into effect, Americans will be forced
to live as long as people in Finland, Denmark, and other socialist
countries.” Speaking with reporters today, Mr. Hannity said he hoped that the
documentary would be a “wake-up call about the secret agenda behind
Obamacare.” “President Obama is playing God with American lives,” Mr. Hannity
said. “And if he stubbornly insists on making those lives longer, that
could be grounds for impeachment.”
Photograph by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty.
No comments:
Post a Comment