LATEST EPISODE: Congressmen Gone Wild

The U.S. Capitol building. (photo: M. Scott Mahaskey/Politico)

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

01 April 13

readersupportednews.org

 
ear as I can tell, several members of Congress have cracked under the pressure of whatever it was they've given up for Lent - caffeine, booze, comely aides, their already tenuous grip on sanity - and have fallen apart here in the homestretch before Easter. Let us take, for example, Don Young of Alaska, who took some time out to regale a public radio station up there with the colorful argot of his rural youth.

Speaking with a reporter for community radio KRBD during an Easter recess visit to Southeast Alaska, the 79-year-old Young launched into one of his trademark diatribes against the federal government. Then, according to an audio clip and news story posted on the station's website, Young moved on to a discussion of the economy and automation, offering up a personal example. "I used to own -- my father had a ranch. We used to hire 50 to 60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes. You know it takes two people to pick the same tomatoes now. It's all done by machine."..."During a sit down interview with Ketchikan Public Radio this week, I used a term that was commonly used during my days growing up on a farm in Central California," Young said in the statement. "I know that this term is not used in the same way nowadays and I meant no disrespect."

You know what was a term that was commonly used during my days growing up in Central Massachusetts? "Dickhead." But I mean no disrespect.

Then, there's future senatorial candidate Steve King, who decided to pick on a couple of girls.

CALLER: When I see the First Lady and the beautiful girls going off to the Bahamas waving goodbye to us, it's really hard to stomach. When we're tightening our belts, either all of us should do it or none of us should do it. This, I am pretty tolerant, I always have been, I usually shut my mouth. This is not acceptable.

KING: Carla, you're on point and on the mark all the way through. [...] You're right on the president. He needs to show some austerity himself. Instead he wanted to tell America how bad it was going to be. [...] We've got the president doing these things. He sent the daughters to spring break in Mexico a year ago. That was at our expense, too. And now to the Bahamas at one of the most expensive places there. That is the wrong image to be coming out of the White House.

By all means, "Caller," and the rest of you hayshakers, nominate this guy for the Senate. The rest of the country will tune in just to see if it's the one day in the month in which both his eyeballs spin in the same direction.

But the winner of this week's House Cup is our old friend, Louie Gohmert (R-Dumbasdirt), Texas's gift to our national nervous episode, who struck a blow against the jackbooted tyranny of the National Park Police.

A Texas congressman was "rude and irate" after receiving a parking ticket near the Lincoln Memorial earlier this month, according to a police report. Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, told U.S. Park Police he was on a committee that oversees the agency and would not pay a fine, according to the report, which was obtained by Politico. Gohmert was given a citation after 11 p.m. on March 13 for parking his vehicle in a spot reserved for National Park Service vehicles.

Louie Gohmert? Rude and irate?

Unpossible!